Today was not a good ride day. I rode the protected the bike lane on Bath Rd as have mentioned before that since the 2019 incident have a hard time near traffic on the road. Only way around that has been to ride on sidewalks, so far over the gravel shoulder almost in the ditch on any busy road, and so on. With elevated heart rates and paranoia if have to be on the busy road itself.
At the light to cross over like am supposed to and crossed when it was green. A woman turning right ran the red light and almost nailed me. Of course this triggers the PTSD from getting hit in 2019. Fortunately was able to get away before things degraded further. But reality is that it isn't simply the end of it. What no one sees is the rest of the ride me trying not to spiral or over think it all. And that is the problem with trauma.
Trauma when it comes to mental illness like PTSD isn't seen as easily. And even if triggered while out for a ride in the woods it is to easy to say "Oh, it is no big deal. Your exaggerating and being dramatic" type assessments. But the reality is even if you where some PI following me and saying "Oh, he looks fine" reality is I will be trying not to be more angry at people or not over thinking, and what ever else my messed up brain might decide to do.
Good part is after a while things got better mentally. But it did provide a fresh reminder that I do need to continue with the ways I have found to get in rides.
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